


Millions Between Us (and i still found you)

by larxenethefirefly



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 13:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larxenethefirefly/pseuds/larxenethefirefly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were skipping rocks in a pond one day when he asked, out of the blue, What do you think of time travel?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Millions Between Us (and i still found you)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for lunarsilverwolfstar for chats 2013 fic exchange. I hope you know how much your friendship means to me, and that you have a very merry christmas!  
> Thanks to rudennotgingr and incurableromantic for the beta!

Her first impression of him was that tattoo on the back of his neck, ϴΣΧ, which was a bit odd in and of itself. She assumed he was some pretentious uni student, and his posh brown suit certainly fit the bill even if his ratty cream trainers made her doubt.

Still, it was either she stare at the tattoo or his bum, since he was leaning over the railing and staring intently at something downstairs. The customers coming up the escalator looked at him in varying degrees of concern, and Rose finally intervened before a complaint could be made. “Excuse me,” she said politely. “Are you looking for something?”

The man startled, and she briefly thought he would tip over the railing. “Oh! Sorry. I was, er…” He turned and floundered, regarding her with wide eyes. “You’re blonde!”

Rose instantly touched her hair. “Er, yes. You’re brunette.”

He smiled. “I’m Theta…the Doctor. You?”

She blinked and gestured at her name badge. “Rose. Doctor of what?”

“Oh, well…” He waved his hand. “Doesn’t matter. Tell me, have you seen anything odd lately?”

You mean besides you leaning over the railing? she thought reflexively, but shrugged. “Depends on what you mean by odd.”

“People appearing out of nowhere, that sort of thing,” he replied, still smiling.

“Er… no,” she said. “Can’t say that I have. That what you were looking at then? Someone spontaneously appearing?”

He shook his head. “I was watching a woman with her child. There wasn’t…Anyway.” He abruptly changed the topic. “Can you tell me where I can find a place called UNIT?”

Bemused, Rose shook her head. “You’d have better luck with the phone operator, mate.”

“Well, they’ll probably find me,” he said, looking resigned. “You wanna get a meal before they do?”

Rose gaped at him for a moment. “But I don’t get off until five!”

“It’s four.” He shrugged.

“And I just met you!”

The Doctor, if that really was his name, smiled. “Best way to start an acquaintance.”  
She sighed. “Alright. Five fifteen, across the road at the chippy.”

“Brilliant!” He quickly stepped up to her, kissed her full on the mouth, then walked away while whistling an unknown tune. It sounded sad.

Dazed, Rose stared after him. “Right. See ya.”

~*~

Rose initially was going to stand him up, despite his…enthusiastic goodbye. Still, he intrigued her, and she hadn’t socialized much outside of work lately, especially when things with Mickey went south. It couldn’t hurt to meet him; he seemed harmless enough.

He was waiting in a window seat, staring at the menu with some confusion. She hesitantly dropped into the seat across from him, and he looked at her helplessly. “What is this?” he asked, pointing at a hamburger.

“You’ve never had a hamburger before?" she demanded, torn between confusion and suspicion.

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. "I'm...not from around here."

"But your English is perfect! Even if it's a bit...Scottish American."

"Scottish American?"

"Yeah. Like, cowboy American."

He looked confused.

Rose sighed. "Never mind. Get the hamburger; you'll like it. Fish and chips, please," Rose said as the waitress came up.

The Doctor ordered his hamburger and a side of chips as well, and, after some hesitation, a large coke. "So, Rose," he said, "tell me about yourself."

"Not much to say." She shrugged. "Dad died when I was a baby, dropped out of school at sixteen for a no-good boyfriend, left him when he got violent. Dated my best friend for a bit, ended up breaking up with him too. Work in a shop to help Mum pay rent, then head home to watch whatever’s on while eating beans on toast."

He looked...enraptured. "That's not boring at all! It's...fascinating, really."

She shifted uncomfortably. "It really isn't. What about you then? What's your life like?"

Almost immediately he took on a guarded expression, although the smile stayed in place. "Nah, you don't want to hear about me! Besides, I invited you. What's your favourite colour?"

"Red," she replied, a little overwhelmed with the rapid mood change. "Yours?"

He paused, lingering on her hair and then her hoody. "I think...pink and yellow," he replied, and Rose blushed.

They had a strange conversation until their meal arrived, the Doctor asking Rose about various things that caught his attention: why the taxi was painted differently, what an elephant was, why the men were congregating around a woman in a mini skirt. He seemed like a three-year-old asking questions out of curiosity about the world around him. Rose wondered just where he was from that he didn't seem to know what everyday objects were.

When the hamburger was finally delivered, he bit into it hesitantly before lighting up. "This is amazing!" he said around his mouthful of food before he tucked into his meal with gusto. Rose stared at him in amazement, her own meal forgotten, as he devoured everything on his tray like a starving man.

“When was the last time you ate?” she asked.

He finished his burger. “I had daily rations yesterday,” he replied absently.

“Oh. So you were in the army?” she asked, curious. It would explain the odd tattoo.

He stiffened. “Why do you ask that?”

Rose paused slightly, wondering about the hard look in his eyes. “Well, er, you said rations. So far as I know, only the army uses those words. Unless you lived in a cult…” She trailed off in contemplation.

He blinked but smiled. “Mix of both, really. It’s hard to explain without sounding like a lunatic.” He glanced out the window and froze, all colour draining from his face.

Rose looked outside, but all she saw was the typical hustle of London life. “You alright?” she asked.

“UNIT is here,” he said bleakly, then looked at her in desperation. “Rose. Promise me. Promise me that you’ll be my mentor.”

She blinked. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Please, Rose,” he pleaded. He looked so scared and earnest that she found herself promising without a second thought.

The intense relief on his face made her feel like she had just pardoned his life. “Thank you. I’ll… I’ll see you soon.” Abruptly, he stood and left the restaurant.

Rose watched him through the window as he approached two men reclining against a phone booth across the street. They looked like any other Londoners, but from the Doctor’s body language she could tell he was nervous. They exchanged a few words and soon all three were walking off, and the Doctor looked back at her mournfully before he was swallowed by the crowd.

She finished her meal in silence and abruptly realized that he hadn’t left any money to pay. “Cheapskate,” she muttered but handed over her credit card when the waitress asked for it.

~*~

It was nearly a week later, as she was sitting by the fountain and poking at her salad during her lunch break, when she heard a jubilant “Rose!” and the Doctor bounded up, carrying his own paper bag and a coke.

“Hello,” she said as he sat down beside her. “Where’d you run off to last week?”

He hesitated. “Nowhere important,” he finally said. “Anyway, I have a job offer for you.”

Startled, Rose nearly tipped over her salad. “What?”

“A job offer,” he replied, as he studied his sandwich. “I need… a keeper, of sorts. You’ll be hired to join me around London and make sure I keep out of trouble.”

Rose looked at him suspiciously. “I have a job, mate. I’m not gonna quit just because you asked me to.”

“I can only pay you ten thousand pounds a month,” he said sheepishly, not noticing the dazed look that suddenly came over her. “And I don’t know how long you’ll be working for me. At minimum a month, at most…well.” He shrugged. “We’ll see how it goes.”

Rose jumped up, her salad plopping to the ground. “You don’t have to ask again,” she said fervently. “When do I need to start?”

“Tomorrow,” he said. “First thing I need to do is find a flat.”

She nodded. “Tomorrow it is. Eight o’clock?”

He beamed. “Sounds perfect.”

Rose floated into work on a high, cheerfully informing her prat of a manager that she wouldn’t be in tomorrow, and that she was quitting at the end of the day- even Jessica, Rose’s personal nightmare, couldn’t get her down. For once in her life, she could finally see the end of the tunnel. Even three months with the Doctor would give her more than she earned in a year, and she and her mum wouldn’t have to worry about payment for a while. She could even save up to get a new washer like her mum wanted, or they could maybe get a bigger flat…

She was getting ahead of herself. For all she knew, he could fire her in a week. Even so, she hated her current job, and this was just a good excuse to do what she’d been wanting for a while now. Her mum would probably be angry, but…well, once Jackie saw Rose’s paycheck she’d probably keep her mouth shut anyway.

Ten thousand pounds a month…she would develop a bruise before long if she kept pinching herself!

~*~

Rose showed up at the fountain fifteen minutes early, dressed in a red dress that ended mid-thigh, a black belt around her waist, and black flats, unsure of what she needed to wear. Since they were looking at flats she decided to go professional but casual and hoped that the agent wouldn’t judge her accent.

The Doctor showed up minutes later. “So,” Rose asked as he fiddled with his phone, “what parts of town are you looking at?”

“Dunno,” he admitted. “Figured I’d just let the agent tell me.”

“Might wanna do some research, though,” Rose replied. “They might try to scam you.”

He sighed. “I’m not terribly surprised. There’s a lot of that, where I come from.” He looked troubled for a moment, then shook himself. “Anyway. I only have three million pounds, so I’m going to have to find a job soon, and…” He trailed off at Rose’s expression. “What?”

“Three…three million? Is that what you said?” she asked in disbelief.

The Doctor looked worried. “Is that not enough?”

“Doctor,” Rose said slowly, “I have no idea where you came from, but with three million you never have to worry about having a job again. You’re…. you’re _loaded_ .”

He looked nonplussed. “Loaded? With what?”

“Oh, you definitely need a mentor,” she sighed.

The agent, a middle-aged woman with greying roots and a no-nonsense attitude, sat down with them at a picnic bench and went over potential living spaces. Rose found herself talking most of the time, even though her knowledge of real estate was limited, however, she knew enough about the square footage that she was able to eliminate a few choices immediately.

“Where do you work, Mr. Smith?” the agent asked.

He shrugged. “Nowhere yet. I’m still looking. Figured I’d find a place first then see what’s hiring around the area.”

“He has plenty of money to buy or rent, don’t worry,” Rose added hastily at the agent’s concerned look. “Trust me, money isn’t the issue.”

“Well, then, want to start with these?” the agent asked.

Rose looked dubiously at the twenty or so listings that still remained. “What do you say, Doctor?”

“I won’t look at anything beyond twenty miles from London,” he replied, and the agent shrugged.

“These are all within ten,” she said. “Now, my car is parked just over here…”

Since the Doctor wasn’t sure what to expect when it came to living quarters- and, really, seemed to be happy with anything that had four walls and running water- it was up to Rose to make the big decisions. The first three flats were spacious but were older and had evidence of mould and water leaks. The next was only a few years old but cramped, and the Doctor’s never-ending energy needed large areas. The few houses the agent suggested were also nice, but after Rose realized the Doctor knew nothing about gardening or even what grass was, she quickly shot them down.

By the time they finally returned to the fountain, Rose was exhausted, her feet aching and the properties blurring together. They had narrowed the list down to five, with five more they hadn’t visited. “Same time tomorrow?” the agent asked, and the Doctor agreed when he saw Rose’s weary nod.

“What’d you think?” he asked as she slumped over the picnic table, groaning.

“I think the flats along the Thames are the best ones,” she said. “They’re more expensive, but you get what you pay for and you won’t lose money if you sell in the future.”

He looked slightly worried. “But what about furniture?”

“They come pre-furnished,” she muttered. “Listen, want to meet here an hour earlier so we can go over details before the agent meets us? I’m exhausted and bloody starving since we didn’t get lunch.”

He looked embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m used to eating once a week, so I forgot…” He helped her from the bench. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Once again that same anxiety stole over him, as if he was afraid that she would say no. “Yeah,” she replied, and he beamed brilliantly at her.

~*~

The Doctor finally bought a flat overlooking the Thames, fully furnished (although he had to buy a new mattress) and the few issues that were found they soon fixed. Rose found herself becoming more of a personal assistant than a mentor, whatever that was supposed to mean: she took him on sight-seeing tours, shopped for clothes and groceries, even helped him job hunt. She also did the dishes and the laundry when the technology utterly flummoxed him.

(“You have to press _buttons_?”  
“Would you rather have to do them by hand?”  
“Yes, actually! Why haven’t they invented self-cleaning clothes yet?”  
“Maybe you should then, Doctor, not that you need the money.”  
“I might, actually. This is… this is _uttpid_!”  
“....what?”) 

Despite his penchant for throwing out strange words when frustrated, ( _groil_ was a big one, and _pears_ was tossed about like a swear word), he was a relatively normal person. He was a fast learner and soon could be trusted to operate the television, toaster, and blender by himself, although he still struggled a bit with his phone. He was also a voracious reader, though occasionally asked for authors that didn’t exist. Rose ended up getting him a membership to the closest bookstore when he brought back twenty books his first visit.

Rose’s mother found out early on about Rose’s new ‘job’, and though she was convinced that he was taking advantage of Rose, she didn’t complain as much as Rose expected her to. Rose was already looking into other living options, even looking at houses near where Grandma Prentice lived. Jackie had been complaining about how her mother hadn’t been feeling well lately and that she wanted to see her more than once every two years.

When she wasn’t looking after him, however, Rose was actually enjoying herself. The Doctor had an air about him that simply attracted people, and he had such an enthusiasm for everything that she found it hard to be negative around him. They teased, joked, and she wasn’t entirely certain when they started holding hands wherever they went, but it felt natural to do so. He was also protective of her, defending her fiercely when they ran into Jessica and she accused Rose of finding a sugar daddy, and lighting the fear of Hell itself into Jimmy when he came ‘round for ‘favours’.

She kissed him for the first time after that, out of gratitude (and perhaps more but she would never admit it). Though he never reciprocated, he got a soft look in his eyes and they only grew closer. Rose found herself telling him things she hadn’t even told her mum, about one-night stands and pregnancy scares and her dreams for the future. He told her of his childhood, how he grew up on a house set into the mountainside, and how he never had parents, only a sour mentor called Borusa who was meant to groom him for his designated purpose.

(“Designated purpose? Sounds more like a cult every day.”  
“It was cult-ish, yes, I suppose you could look at it like that. Still, I think he was fond of me in his own way. He covered for me more than was appropriate, even when I flooded the citadel with snow.”  
“The citadel?”  
“It’s where I went to school. It’s a boring place, Rose, really. Nothing at all like here! They didn’t even have ice cream!”  
“A place without ice cream? That’s… barbaric!”  
“I know! And there’s still so much to discover. The world is a beautiful place, Rose. I just wish everyone could see so.”  
“I think I’m starting to see it, Doctor.”) 

They were skipping rocks in a pond one day when he asked, out of the blue, “What do you think of time travel?”

Rose, who had been in the process of trying to find the right angle to get her rock to skip the furthest, paused. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he said, shifting his weight and rubbing the back of his neck, “if it were possible, what would you think?”

She went back to carefully aiming the rock, mulling the question over. Finally she threw it- four bounces, her best yet- before she spoke. “I think… I think that it’d be wonderful, but a dangerous privilege. The temptation to change the past will be too great for just anyone to go visit.”

“What about the future?”

Rose wrinkled her nose. “Why? I’ll experience it soon enough. Besides, that takes all the fun out of it, knowing what you’re in store for.”

“Yeah,” he said, softly. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Rose Tyler, you are brilliant.”

She blushed but smiled at him. “You must be rubbing off on me.”

He hummed and pulled her into one of their impromptu hugs. “Nah- that’s all you.”

Rose held on to him firmly, breathing in his scent and feeling utterly content.

~*~

“What’s with the tattoo?” Rose asked after they left the planetarium. They had seen a show on the physics behind space travel, and how scientists had discovered a wormhole that could lead to the past- though most of the terms had gone over her head, she was genuinely intrigued.

He was busy looking for his car and answered absently. “It’s my stock number.”

“Stock number?” she asked, slightly startled, and he paled.

“I’ll tell you when we get back to my flat,” he said and refused to say another word. Rose wasn’t quite keen on talking either, wondering just what the hell he used to be involved in.

There had been small moments, when he would be saying something then cut off, looking around cautiously before carefully changing the subject. Even when they were walking around London he would suddenly detour, avoiding whatever had spooked him until he felt safe again. He even refused to visit some places more than once, with the exception of his flat. The tube was safe because it was so crowded, but pubs, cinemas, and even the theatre were ‘too exposed’. It was clear that he still feared his past, and for the first time she began to wonder if, perhaps, his leaving wasn’t exactly approved or wanted.

“So what was that about?” she asked when they finally entered his flat.

The Doctor pressed the small unit by the doorway, one that looked something like the controls for the A/C. “You know I’m not from around here, right?” he asked, pacing anxiously.

Rose moved into the open kitchen to make tea. “Yeah, you made it pretty obvious at first.” She frowned when she couldn’t locate the kettle.

He removed it from an overhead cupboard and took over her actions. Rose let him, since he looked like he needed the distraction. “Where I come from, the world is very different. There are no trees, no grass, and the sky is permanently orange from fires and warfare. The only time I saw stars was when I was five, and I climbed to the top of the mountain just after a storm. For once, the worst of the smoke was gone, and I was able to see three tiny pinpricks of light above me… It was the most breathtaking sight, and until I arrived here I never saw anything more beautiful.”

Rose opened her mouth to ask where he was from, utterly confused (he climbed a mountain when he was _five_?) but he continued. “The other Nine, of course, didn’t always understand…after all, they were bred for a _very_ different purpose…but Borusa was the same number as me so he at least understood my perspective.” He sighed as he located the mugs. “I hated my life. Hated what they did, hated that they created me to be what I was, hated that they couldn’t see what they were doing because they were too blinded by corruption and ignorance.”

Rose led him to the couch. “Doctor, what are you talking about?”

He looked at her seriously. “Rose, have I ever lied to you?”

“I…no. Not that I know of, anyway,” she replied.

“Then please trust me when I say I’m not lying now,” he begged. At her nod he looked down at their clasped hands, as if drawing strength from her touch. When he looked back up at her his eyes were determined. “I’m from the future, Rose.”

She was stunned into silence, and he continued. “It doesn’t matter the year, because even I don’t know it; the calendar had changed so many times since then it’s hard to get an accurate date right. Let’s just say millions of years. Anyway, by then science has become so far evolved that time travel is possible, but it’s used in a limited capacity; mostly to send prisoners of war back in time where they can’t escape or cause any trouble. UNIT looks over them. Anyway, there’s a War. A never-ending War that has raged for longer than anyone can remember, for so long that no one can remember why it started, only that giving up isn’t an option. The government started creating a clone species who were genetically bred to be superior- thoughts, reflexes, everything.

“But the government quickly realized that while the engineered soldiers had superior biology, their minds could not be controlled. They became pacifists, realizing that the war was futile and that it wouldn’t end. They were destroyed.

“Eventually, after hundreds of failed ‘experiments’, they had a breakthrough. If they removed all emotion, their soldiers couldn’t distinguish between good and bad; if they had too much emotion, they refused to fight. So they compromised. In every stock, they created an extra receptacle. This extra would contain all the undesirable elements that their perfect soldiers would not need- the empathy, the wonder- leaving behind the perfect blend of hatred, creativity, and loyalty in their soldiers. The extra was then cast aside to fend for itself, put in charge of the tasks that no one else would do. As time went on, of course, they found ways to breed the soldiers and do away with the extra altogether.”

He gestured to his neck. “The tattoo refers to my breeding stock. Type Theta, Brood Sigma, and the Ten means that I was the tenth clone, the unnecessary copy. From the time I was born to the day I was sent back here, I was nothing more than trash.”

Rose couldn’t speak at first as he regarded her with his nervous, anxious gaze. It was…crazy. Crazy and impossible and…and it made perfect sense. His vocabulary, the way the technology utterly mystified him, the way he acted like he had never seen everyday things before…except it wasn’t an act. He genuinely hadn’t seen clean water, seen the blue skies and the sun, seen clouds and grass and animals, even the pigeons that congregated in public areas. He reacted with wonder to everything because it was all brand new. He had no concept of money because to him it barely existed. But that didn’t explain why… “If prisoners of war were sent back in time and you weren’t a soldier, then why are you here?”

He smiled sadly. “Just because I wasn’t wanted doesn’t mean I wasn’t needed. Like I said, we were given the jobs that no one wanted. I happened to be the one to create the weapons they needed in the War. I hated my job, but I either worked or was killed. And when Borusa died because of something I did, I felt like I needed to…uphold his memory. It wasn’t long before I was the head Architect. I was captured when a small force of enemy soldiers snuck into the Citadel. Since I was just as biologically advanced as those in my stock, all the blueprints are in my mind; they sent me back in Time rather than get my information because without me, my people couldn’t build the weapons. It won’t be long before they start to run out.”

Rose swallowed, suddenly panicked. “Doesn’t that mean they’ll want you back?”

He avoided her gaze. “I told you when you first started helping me that I wasn’t sure how long it would last.”

Her mind was reeling and a part of her still didn’t believe him, but fear rose within her. “You can’t leave,” she whispered. “Not when…” She broke off suddenly and stood to get the kettle, which she just realized was whistling.

“Rose?” the Doctor asked. “What were you going to say?”

She didn’t answer, fear over the thought of him leaving, fear of what she almost said causing her hands to tremble as she poured the tea. When his hand appeared to take the kettle from her, she realized that she had missed half of his mug, the tea running off the counter. “Rose?” he asked quietly. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to go!” she choked out, whirling and grabbing his shirt, fisting the soft material and burying her head in his chest. “I don’t… I…”

He wrapped his arms around her, clinging to her desperately. “I don’t want to either, Rose. My life hasn’t _mattered_ until now. I can’t let you go.”

Rose felt him press a lingering kiss to the top of her head, and something in her broke. She lifted her head and pressed her lips to his, needing reassurance, needing a promise. Though he was a bit clumsy at first, he quickly picked up on the rhythm of the kiss, suddenly angling his mouth and deepening it, causing her brain to come to a screeching halt.

When she finally broke away to breathe, he rested his lips at her temple. “I love you,” he said, quietly.

Rose stiffened, but he didn’t make any motion to move. “I know you’ve put up a lot for me, and you have no idea how truly grateful I am. And I don’t expect you to return the feelings. But I don’t want to lie to you, Rose. You deserve to know who I am, what I am. And that’s how I feel.”

For a long moment, she simply breathed. Her brain felt waterlogged, and simply gave up altogether. “I…can’t say it,” she finally whispered. “I’ve only known you four months, I…I’m supposed to be your _employee_ , I don’t fall in love with someone I barely know…”

“It’s ok,” he said, pulling back and smiling slightly at her. “I don’t expect anything more than you are willing to give.” He reached around her and placed the kettle and mugs in the sink. “You ok?” the Doctor asked when she didn’t move.

She shook her head. “I…I have to think. What you said…” She wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s so much to take in.”

“Come back when you feel ready,” he replied quietly, trying to remain calm, but she could see the lurking worry and fear behind his expressive, beautiful eyes. “I’ll continue to pay you, don’t worry.”

Rose nodded and, unable to think of anything to say, fled his flat.

She walked for hours, walked until she was too tired to take another step, and collapsed on the stairs of some business building. The sun was starting to set and she knew she should hail a cab soon, but…her mind was whirling, digesting all of what he had said.

He was from the _future_. Not only that, but a future in where humanity was destroying themselves, where they bred monsters and put winning before everything else. Her mind insisted that he was insane, but practicality and common sense told her he was telling the truth. He had been building up to telling her this, she realized, starting by asking what she thought of science fiction, ending with the show at the planetarium and the mention of the wormhole. Who knows? Maybe that wormhole is how he got here. But it was other things, too--the day they spent watching _Back to the Future_ , quizzing her over what time periods she would like to visit, what she thought the future would be like. Not only was he getting her used to the idea, he was testing the waters, hoping that when the time came she would believe him.

Rose got up from the steps and hailed a taxi.

~*~

It was three days before she saw him again. Rose claimed that he had given her a break, but she knew Jackie was suspicious. Rose couldn’t even think to tell her, though; how was her mother supposed to believe it?

The truth of the matter was, Rose was scared. If his story was true, then the people in power would want him back, and that meant he would be torn from her forever. She wasn’t ready to call her emotions love, not yet, but the thought of him leaving her was enough to make her soul ache. The Doctor had worked his way into every corner of her heart, and he burned like a sun in her every thought. To lose him was…

And what about him, she thought abruptly. What must he be thinking, living in this world that was so full of beauty, of inspiration and wonder, only knowing that he might one day return to his time where beauty was a dream and he was looked down upon? The Doctor had finally found a place where he belonged, all the money and time he wanted, out of a war he never wanted and away from a society that despised him. He must be terrified, she realized. And here she was thinking about herself!

Without even saying goodbye to Jackie, Rose ran out of the flat, catching the bus just as it was about to pull out of the stop. She sat through the twenty minute ride impatiently, chewing on her bottom lip, and ran off the bus as soon as it came to a halt. A block blurred by as she dashed down the sidewalk, ignoring the curses and angry exclamations as she forced her way through the crowds.

She dropped the spare key to his flat three times before she managed to get it in the lock and didn’t even bother to close the door behind her. “Doctor?” she called out, expecting him to be watching whatever drama was currently on the telly. When the flat remained quiet, she rushed into his bedroom, then his ensuite, and finally into the spare room which he had converted into an office. When the Doctor was nowhere to be seen, she sank numbly onto the couch, wondering if she had waited too late- if, maybe, he had indeed been sent back, and didn’t have a chance to tell her.

Rose was very nearly about to panic when there was a sound from the hallway and the Doctor’s voice spoke up in confusion. “Rose? You in there?”

She leapt from the couch and whirled, the Doctor framed by the open doorway, carrying groceries and looking confused. Those details, however, were only periphery knowledge; Rose only knew that he was _there_ , that he hadn’t _left_ , and before she knew it she was flinging herself at him and he was dropping the bags to catch her, staggering back a few steps. “You’re still here, you didn’t leave,” she mumbled, over and over again.

“Oh, Rose,” he breathed. “I would never leave you willingly. Precious girl, I could never let you go.”

They held each other in the middle of the hallway, the Doctor whispering reassuring words as Rose tried to calm her scrambled nerves. Finally she pulled back and drew him into a long kiss.

“Hello,” he said when they finally parted.

“Hi,” she whispered, giving a shy smile. “Sorry about that.”

He shook his head. “Never, Rose.” Hand holding hers tightly, he pulled her into the flat, scooping up the discarded grocery bags as he went.

Rose helped him put them away, promising to make him some banana muffins after discovering the bananas had been bruised. They retired to the sofa immediately after, curling up together and talking about what their childhoods were like. Rose, understandably, had more stories, but the Doctor shared a few of his more adventurous moments with a fond wistfulness.

They cooked dinner together, both of them unwilling to let the other out of their sight. After a few hiccups at the beginning they quickly fell into a natural rhythm, Rose manning the stove and the Doctor chopping vegetables, and soon they had a simple stir-fry on the table. The Doctor, being ambidextrous, was easily able to hold her left hand as he ate with his own, and Rose felt a thrill run through her as she saw their intertwined fingers resting on top of the table.

Even after they had done the dishes and she had no excuse to stay later, Rose was reluctant to leave. She had realized that since she believed him, she wanted to spend every waking moment with him, scared that every moment could be their last. He seemed just as determined to keep her there.

“Will you stay tonight?” he asked as the clock struck midnight.

She only nodded and followed him into his bedroom.

~*~

Jackie wasn’t surprised to find Rose sneaking back in for a shower and a change of clothes in the early hours of the morning; she had known for a long time that despite Rose’s protests there was something between her and the odd man that had employed her out of the blue. So when Rose began packing a bag, Jackie merely handed her the clothes she had just gotten from the dryer with a stern “be careful”.

If Rose had thought spending time with the Doctor was thrilling, it was nothing compared to living with him. Even when he accidentally woke her up at four in the morning (turns out his superior biology meant that he needed less sleep and food) he found a way to make her laugh and smile, and she couldn’t be mad at him when she awoke with him curled around her, a content smile on his face.

They didn’t always go out and explore London. Sometimes they stayed in all day and watched Netflix, sometimes they watched the boats drift by on the Thames from the bedroom balcony. One weekend they tried out his brand-new wii, creating a rivalry on Mario Kart that was never completed when they finally stumbled into bed as the sun rose.

They spent one memorable week in France, another in Germany, and he spoke of bringing her to Barcelona one day because he heard that there were dogs that roamed the streets. (Rose was pretty sure that was Venice, but he looked so excited she didn’t want to ruin it.)

(“Rose, come over here! Look at this!”  
“It’s wind chimes, Doctor. You’ve seen ‘em before.”  
“Yes, but not like _this_. They’re made out of seashells, Rose! Seashells! That’s brilliant!”  
“They’ll also break during London’s first storm.”  
“We don’t have to keep them outside. Don’t you think it would look great in the bathroom?”  
“You know what? Why not. We can get the coral over there too, make it a beach theme.”  
“Brilliant. You’re absolutely brilliant, Rose Tyler.”) 

Rose bought gifts for all her friends and her mum when Christmas approached. She and the Doctor jumped from party to party, participating in three gift exchanges and getting caught under the mistletoe more times than Rose could count. He kissed her dizzy every time, and Shireen smirked at Rose then made an obscene gesture when the Doctor’s back was turned. He asked her why she was blushing, but Rose quickly changed the subject.

They finished the tour Christmas morning at her mum’s, spending nearly the entire day there, exchanging gifts and watching the Queen’s speech, the Doctor amusing himself with the Lego set Jackie had bought him. Rose joined on a whim, and before long they had built a replica of the fountain where they first met. She kissed him for it, and the pleased smile remained even after they had to demolish it when Jackie complained it was in the way.

Rose and the Doctor gifted Jackie with the house down the street from her mum’s; though Jackie complained, saying that she could never live in something so large, (“How am I going to fill it, Rose? I don’t have any furniture!”) Rose knew she was immensely grateful. They departed before her mum started crying, a thing she hated to do in front of others. “I’ll call you tomorrow and we can figure out a moving time,” Rose said softly before they left.

Though it was bitterly cold out they walked slowly, unwilling to let the perfect weekend go just yet. “I love you,” the Doctor murmured as they waited at the bus stop, curled together to ward off the chill.

She smiled, heart glowing. “Thank you for that,” she whispered, and he knew she was talking about her mum’s new house. “She’s been wanting to look after Grandma for a while now.”

“It’s the least I can do,” he said. “I have the money. And I patented a few small projects in her name that will give her a steady income.”

She kissed him, wondering how lucky she was to find a man like him. Rose only pulled away when the bus hissed to a stop, and they leaned against each other and whispered about what they wanted to do during New Years. Rose was quite content to stay in; the Doctor wanted to go somewhere warm.

“Just think about it, Rose!” he said as they entered the hallway. “Sand, palm trees, surfing!”

“Doctor, you don’t know how to surf,” she laughed.

“I can learn!” he retorted. “And besides, I saw that bikini you were trying to hide. Don’t think I won’t…” He froze, all colour draining from his face.

It had been so long since it had happened that Rose almost didn’t notice. “Doctor? Doctor, what…?” She looked at where their door was and noticed a man standing there, a man that she hadn’t noticed until that very second.

“Unit Theta Sigma Ten,” he said blandly. “The terms of your release have been negotiated. You are to report to UNIT at oh-nine hundred tomorrow. You have until then to get your affairs in order. Do not be late.” He walked past them and disappeared down the stairs.

Rose felt as if the entire world had frozen. The only thing she could focus on was the fact that, eight hours from now, he would be gone. _He would be gone_ , and she would never see him again.

She finally broke from her stunned silence and slowly turned to face the Doctor. He was whiter than a sheet, eyes distant and filled with horror. She suspected he was back on a war-torn Earth with orange skies and black soil, stained red with blood. “Doctor?” she whispered softly, and at first she thought he didn’t hear her, then he suddenly turned and kissed her fiercely, backing her up against the wall. The kisses he had been giving her all weekend were dizzying, but they were soft, cherishing; this was hungry and desperate. She matched his frenzy, acutely aware that this could be the last time they could do this.

Somehow they made it into the flat, the Doctor kicking the door closed behind him before picking Rose up and carrying her to bed. “If I am a condemned man,” he whispered, “I want to have this last memory.”

Rose refused to cry. “I wish this night wouldn’t end.”

“Oh, precious girl,” he whispered. “If I had my way, it wouldn’t.”

~*~

Rose woke up alone.

For a moment, she forgot why she should be worried; there was still a pleasant ache between her thighs, and the memory of how he made love to her made her smile. Then the reality of their situation came crashing down and she bolted up, panicking.

The clock read eight o’clock. _They only had an hour_.

Rose threw on her house robe and ran into the living room, where the Doctor was staring out the window, expression blank. She immediately went to him, hugging him fiercely. His arms wrapped around her immediately.

“How long until you have to leave?” she whispered. He had never spoken of UNIT beyond his first brief mention, and Rose didn’t know where the organization was housed. They could have half an hour or no time at all.

He closed his eyes. “Two minutes.”

She choked back a sob. “Can you come back?”

His grip tightened. “I…I don’t know, Rose. I don’t think so.”

Quietly, she said, “I love you.”

“Oh, Rose,” he whispered. “I love you, too. More than there are stars in the sky.”

She smiled wanly. “Three, right?”

He chuckled weakly. “The three brightest stars in the world.”

There was a knock on the door and panic rose up within her. “Don’t go,” she begged. “Please, don’t go.”

“I have to. We’ll both die if I don't, and that’s not going to happen,” he said. “I transferred all my money to your bank and put the flat in your name. Do what you will with it, but I want you to be looked after, my precious Rose.”

“It’s not home without you in it,” she said as the knocking came again, louder this time.

He kissed her quickly, desperately. “I love you. I love you.”

“I-”

“Open up!” the person on the other side of the door bellowed, and the Doctor tore himself from her grasp and stalked towards the door. He opened it and faced down the man who had talked to him yesterday.

He looked back at Rose, briefly, his eyes filled with pain- then he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Rose collapsed, sobbing. If the entire galaxy combusted she wouldn’t have noticed; her life and her world would soon be millions of years out of reach.

~*~

For the first week, she didn’t leave the flat.

Rose didn’t want to admit that a world without the Doctor was going on outside her walls. Her mother had tried calling but Rose turned off her cell, then unplugged the main phone when her mother tried calling that. If she stayed in bed long enough, if she refused to move… maybe, just maybe, the whole thing would have been a dream, and the Doctor would be in the other room, cooking breakfast and sneaking a banana while he was at it.

Eventually, though, the groceries ran out; eventually she had to face the world again; eventually she had to face her mother.

Rose cried when Jackie asked where he was, because how could Rose tell her the truth? Eventually she managed to tell her mum that he had been a soldier and had been called back into service on an emergency. Jackie didn’t buy it but didn’t press her; Rose threw herself into helping her mother pack and move to the new house, visiting with her grandma and once again trying to fool herself into thinking that the Doctor was right around the corner and would soon come into the room with his contagious smile and energetic spirit.

But he never did appear, and she went back to their flat with a broken spirit.

That night as she stared up at the stars from her balcony, the cold winter’s air seeping into her, she thought of his wonder when she taught him the few constellations she knew. He had bought an astronomy book the next day, and they had learned them together. She traces the negative space between the stars now, thinking of star crossed lovers and doomed heroes, and hopes that wherever he is, whatever he is doing, that he is visiting them in his memory.

~*~

Rose healed. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t painless, but three months after he was forced to leave she felt like she could breathe again.

It helped when she spent time with her friends. Though the Doctor was branded into her soul, the fact that he wasn’t there next to her faded to a background thought as she lost herself in other people's lives. She went dress-shopping with Keisha to find an outfit for her cousin’s wedding. She helped Shareen out at her daycare. She met Mickey down at the pub to watch a match and the boredom helped numb her brain.

She even painted her mum's house without complaint, the repetitive motion calming and not requiring much thought.

Mostly, though, she lay on his side of the bed, breathing in his lingering scent and recounting every moment they spent together.

Four months in, she visited Barcelona. It felt so wrong that she leaves within an hour of arriving in the city.

Five months came and went before she came to terms with the fact that she might never see him again. And she realized that despite this, she can still live her life. A small smile, the first since he left, finally appeared on her face.

~*~

Rose was leaning over the railing at the zoo, watching as the seals chased each other underwater. Nearby, a young family laughed as the animals swim by, their daughter chattering excitedly. Rose pondered where to go next as the family moves off. She hadn’t intended to go to the zoo today, but it was the only place in London that she and the Doctor hadn’t visited; it was a day where she didn’t want the memories surfacing. She had nearly cried when she passed the museum earlier that day.

"This situation is familiar."

Rose froze at the voice, briefly wondering if she was hallucinating again. Undaunted, it continued. "Of course, our roles were reversed last time, and it wasn't as public, but the memory is still etched very firmly in my mind, I assure you."

Slowly, Rose pushed herself away from the railing and turned. Not five feet away stood the Doctor, dressed in jeans she had folded yesterday, a shirt she had worn to bed. His hair was as rumpled as usual, but the lines around his eyes were a bit deeper, his eyes a bit older. "Hello, Rose Tyler," he said quietly.

She took a step towards him. "I'm not dreaming, am I?"

"If you are, I am too," he replied, then smiled. "You're more beautiful in person, you know."

Cautiously she approached him, lifting one hand to touch his face before her nerve failed her at the last second. Quick as a flash he took it in his own and pressed his cheek to her palm; she was instantly in his arms, because he was there and alive and she wasn't imagining him.

"How long has it been?" he asked, his voice muffled as he spoke into her hair.

"Five and a half months," she murmured. "You?"

"Too long," he replied, quietly. "I was so scared I was going to forget what you looked like, felt like, smelled like... Oh, Rose, I missed you. Missed you so much it felt like I was dying slowly."

She nodded because she had felt the same. "How... How did you come back?"

He chuckled. "I faked my death. I pretended that I had a brilliant plan to use time as a weapon, to rapidly age the opponents in a time bubble while we were unaffected, and I had to use the time traveling pods to do it. Since there’s only one in the world and it’s neutral territory, it was quite easy to persuade the ones in charge to stage a raid while I activated my device. With the help of an extra like me, I slipped through the device just before the bomb I rigged destroyed it. And since I’m the only one with the blueprints to create the device and it takes hundreds of years and resources they no longer have to build, well.” He shrugged. “The portal at UNIT was also self-destructed due to the massive feedback, so that’s the end of that.”

Joy rose up within her, but there was sorrow too. “Are you going to miss it, though? Your time?”

Though he looked a little sad- Rose knew he would always blame himself for not finding a way to end the war- he shook his head. "You are my home. And this time you're stuck with me." He brushed a kiss to her temple.

“Stuck with you? That's not so bad," Rose replied. Then, for the first time for the rest of their lives, she kissed him.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=53097>


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